Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I Demand the Original Theatrical Cut of Dumb & Dumber on Bluray!

With the news that Dumb & Dumber 2 will be filming by the end of 2012, my blood began to boil.  No, not because this may ruin the memories of the original, but the fact that the original was already ruined.  This movie is such a classic that it was easily a movie to double dip and 'upgrade' my DVD to.  What I didn't realize that from my "original" DVD to the "unrated" bluray was that the movie was butchered in the process.

Everything added to this version makes the movie...worse.  Either jokes that are far from funny or odd scenes that dont work - that or even retract from the characters or plotline of the movie.  I'll mention 3 of the many new additions that bother me:

1 - Spitting in the Burger
When seabass spits in the burger, we now actually see the spit.  Comedy is about timing and the original cut away just before it happened, which made it gross.  With the uncut version, we see him spit and thus, ruin the comedy.  And then seabass takes the burger with him?  Why?  Urgh.

2 - Hot Tub Talk
At the romance hotel, Jim Carrey listens to sex in the room next door.  Then he and Harry talk about sex. This scene ruins the characters for me on top of adding NO JOKES.  URGH.

3 - Seabass and his hot gay sex
You know the joke where Jim Carrey is in the bathroom at the wrong time?  And he thinks someone is going to break the door down to rape him? But then it turns out to be SEABASS instead (IE - someone who wants to kill him instead?)  Funny right?  The uncut version.... SEABASS was the one who wrote the note!  This is a spot he frequents to for sex!  Urgh.  URRRGGGHHH!

Whoever edited the original film should win an oscar, if not, be filthy rich.  The film was improved and turned into a comic GEM from a scramble of jokes and situations.  It makes you appreciate what editing and scene choice/selection can do for a movie, let alone jokes.

When I saw this new version I was broken.  I will never be able to erase it out of my head no matter how many times I watched (and continue to re-watch) the original.  I quickly sold my bluray and re-bought the original DVD.

Please, for everything that is true and good in the world, RE-RELEASE Dumb & Dumber on Bluray and include the theatrical version!

How to Work Arnold Schwarzenegger into Terminator 5 (and beyond)

It is quite clear how to work Arnold into future Terminator movies.  His aging doesn't bode well with his terminator model, which would make no sense to utilize him as a terminator.  Unless Skynet creates a new model with the body of a 65-year old man, which makes no sense. The way I see it, we have two options, one more entertaining than the other.

1 - Use age reducing technology.  Similar to motion capture and what they did in TRON 2, Arnold can film scenes and the post-house can make him look 30 to 50 again.  I suppose with technology anything can happen.

2 - Arnold comes back... as SERGEANT CANDY.  Who is Sergeant Candy?  Arnold filmed a scene for Terminator 3 that was deleted, but was an entirely new character.  See for yourself here:

I propose that this clip be utilized for a future Terminator movie to then, introduce Sergeant Candy as a leader of the resistence.  Think of it - Arnold AND John Connor fighting together against the machines (now, both as humans!).

Done and done.